More Haiku

OK, I won't pretend I wrote any of these - they are drifting around the Interweb like...drifty things. Just imagine if your computer was programmed by a poet:

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

Windows 2000 crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy

No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared
Screen. Mind. Both are blank

My first Haiku

There seems to be a trend for people to pop bits of poetry on their blogs, and, never one to ignore a passing bandwagon, here's mine.

April's end gets closer:
Vote for Keefieboy on Toot,
Receive samosa.

Did u spot the subliminal message! Toot persists in making it impossible for Internet Explorer users to cast their votes, and I hear that the programmer responsible is slightly indisposed at the moment (not my doing, honest). But if you have Opera, Firefox, Safari etc, these should work. 3 or 4 votes gets us into the top ten. 20-odd makes us the winner. So, off you go, thank you very much and your bribe samosa is in the post.

Poetic Error Messages

Thanks to Deepak (comment on previous post) for inspiring me to dig out these haiku error messages. Haiku is a Japanese poetry form consisting of three lines. The first and last lines have five syllables, the second line has seven. An oddly pleasing combination.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

No-one can tell
what God or Heaven will do
If you divide by zero.

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

The Web site you seek
cannot be located
but countless more exist.

A thousand flower petals
writhe in the wind
- disk C: not found.

Wind on a blossom
scatters the petals -
hard drive corrupted.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao - until
You bring fresh toner.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

I will tell you
What doomed your printer
- if you first get a pen.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers
may enter this system.

This site has vanished.
What is not temporary
is of no use.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have opened.
You ask far too much.

Your vast achievements
are now only dreams
- The network is down

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again

To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy

Borrowed from funnypoetry.com

Next week, iambic pentameter.