Trying to Make Beer

Feeble Libations in KSA
I decided that one of the ways I might be able to ease the pain was to try making beer. I had noticed that the shops sell lots of Barbican (de-alcoholised beer) and I’d asked BetterArf to research methods of re-alcoholising it. Apart from the Barbican, the shops also sold one-litre bottles of red grape juice that had the kind of resealable cap you get on Grolsch bottles.

So I took to buying a couple of bottles of grape juice a day and pouring it down the sink. And I got me a case of Barbican, some sugar and some yeast, a small plastic waste bin, and set about turning water into wine. I mean turning no-alcohol beer into the real thing. Actually I might be lying about the yeast, I think that might be something you cannot buy off the shelf. I seem to remember spaghetti contained enough yeast to do the job. Anyhoo, I placed the concoction in my wardrobe, and waited. I made sure I locked my bedroom whenever I went out, because the tea-boy would occasionally come in and pretend to clean the apartment.

Ten days later it looked like the fermentation had stopped and I set about bottling the stuff. This proved to be a bit tricky because I couldn’t get any plastic tubing to use as a siphon and I had to make a funnel out of mylar sheet.

Finally, the beer was ready, and I gave it a good old test one Thursday evening. It tasted vile and I had an atrocious hangover the next, but it did the job!