Oh England...

I was eight years old the last time England won the World Cup. Being highly impressionable at that age, I more or less assumed that it was normal for England to win the World Cup, and that we would keep on doing so every four years. So imagine my continuing disappointment when it keeps on not happening.

Last night's performance against 'plucky' Trinidad and Tobago was nothing less than appalling. England did not deserve their two goals in the final eight minutes. I have no words to describe how badly they played. They did not look like a team, easy-looking chances were squandered, and can somebody please explain to me why Peter Crouch is allowed to play?