My Bimmer's Broken

'Bimmer'? What's a 'Bimmer'?

According to that there Interweb thingy, a Bimmer is a motor car made by BMW.

'But I thought that was a 'Beemer'?

Well, you thought wrong, according to that there Interweb thingy. In the olden days, before they made cars, BMW made motorbikes. And in the tradition of BSA bikes being called 'Beezers', the BMW bikes were called 'Beemers'. So when BMW started making cars, they had to have a different name, and that name is 'Bimmer'. Not that I've ever heard anybody use that word, but there you go. More useless trivia from Keefieboy.

Anyhoo, the ageing 'Bimmer' that I bought a few months ago has been doing its job extremely well. Until last night. On returning home, I discovered that the electric windows would not close. Not only that, the central locking had also given up the ghost. So it was fortunate that the front windows were open - I was able to reach in and push down the lock buttons.

I'm not remotely mechanical, but I figured that this could well be a fuse problem. I consulted the handbook to find out where the fusebox is, and the label inside the fusebox cover told me that the central locking and window winders are on the same circuit as the instrument panel, and that flummoxed me a bit because the instruments were working fine.

Some time later I went down to the shops and I noticed that the electronic diagnostic display that for some reason always tells me I have a door open even when I don't...was not working. A little bit later the actual instruments (speedo, rev counter etc) packed up.

I parked up and had a fiddle with the fuses. The instruments worked again, but still no action on the windows. So, off to the car doctors with it, unless any you geniuses out there have any useful advice to offer...

And the bloody scrolling wheel on my mouse has packed up too! What next?