The Liquid/Laptop Interface, and Other Stories

The last couple of days have not been the most wonderful. This morning, for the first time in my life, I managed to spill a few good slurps of hot tea onto my laptop keyboard. Suppress your mortification, it's not dead, only wounded. I can switch it on, but the keyboard just types any old drivel (not unlike me then), and the steering of the mouse is wildly erratic. Tomorrow I shall purchase a miniscule screwdriver and invalidate my warranty. Can't hardly wait.

Yesterday morning was blighted by a phone call from a Pakistani gentleman who said he wanted to buy our telly, as advertised on a posterette at Jebel Ali Choithram's. 'What brand is it?' He asked.
'I don't know - it's just some Chinese junk.'
'How much is it?'
'What it says on the poster.'
'It's too much.'
'OK, bye.'
'No wait. What else you selling?' Like a moron I told him. He insisted that I leave work and meet him at my apartment an hour later. He'd said he wanted stuff because his wife and daughter were arriving in Dubai tomorrow. Yeah, right. He was a dealer and he was interested in every appliance in the place. It was almost impossible to get rid of him. So, he's buying/bought: the fridge and cooker; the TV; the satellite decoder (won't work in Europe); the surround sound system (won't work anywhere); an old mobile phone; a broken bed and an exercise bike (crikey where did that come from!). I'm too ashamed to tell you how little I've let him have all this stuff for.