Thursday, September 09, 2004

Being A Libran

I don't *really* believe in Astrology, but I do read my stars in the paper and sometimes I can make what they say match up with what actually happened.

I'm a Libran. This means that my character traits are supposed to be something like this:
Diplomatic (not)
Intelligent (quite)
Thoughtful (mmm)
Sociable (after a few beers)
Strong sense of justice (yepp)
Likes change (dunno)
Flirty (erm...)
Visual (yepp)
Sentimental (a bit)
Optimistic (more often than not)
Indecisive (more on this later)
Charming (wife says I'm cute)
Artistic (yepp)
Harmonious (try to be)
Idealistic (yepp)
Self-indulgent (probably)
Romantic (!)
Over-generous (nope, I'm a Yorkshireman as well)
Tactful (missed that one)
Ambitious (yepp)
Creative (yepp)
Kind (I try)
Peace-loving (yepp)

I sound lovely don't I? But here's the problem. I do have a strong sense of justice, and I can be indecisive. These things are related. They mean that I can understand and empathise with several sides of any argument. An example. One project I worked on went badly wrong for two of the other contractors involved in it - they ended up not being paid the full amount due to them (or not - see, there I go again). The situation got to a point where the client would not speak to the other two, but they would all speak to me. And they did. One of them would even call me from London for 30-minute ranting sessions. In the end I got fed up with it, and sent them all an email to the effect that 'I am a Libran. I will listen sympathetically to anything you say. I will make encouraging noises. But there is nothing I can do to fix this problem. You may continue to bug me with emails and phone calls, but henceforth any time I spend listening to this will be charged at $50 a minute.' Strangely, the subject has gone deathly quiet, except for an email from the client who thought I was overcharging. I told him to forget I was a designer, and pretend I was a lawyer.

Even on simple things I can have a problem. Beloved wife says 'shall we go to see a movie?', and I say 'yes, no, yes, maybe, dunno'. This drives her nuts! After one such bout of ambiguity, she said 'isn't there a cure for being a Libran yet?'.

The receptionist at our UK office building is fanatical about astrology - when I first met her she wanted to know my star sign and that of my wife. Well my wife is a Scorpio. This apparently is bad news and the marriage is doomed to failure. I was in England in June this year, and I said to the receptionist 'we celebrated our eighteenth wedding anniversary last March'. With a toss of the head, she said 'ridiculous!'.

What to do?